Timeline

Mhar, the last common ancestor between King Harkinian and Mario and the first member of the Harkinian family, lived in Dinosaur World from 30,000 to 29,980 BC. More resemblant of the King, he was a rather dumb caveman who liked chocolate and enjoyed eating feces. Despite his stupidity, he is said to have discovered how fire works and how it cooks food, and he even invented dinner and the word "oah."

Yaak Talac Puu, the first person to create a YouTube Poop, lived in the Maya civilization around the 7th century AD, though other sources say he lived earlier or later. He created a poop out of hieroglyph fragments and is considered to have been the original author of the Enclosed Instruction Book. Known in Spanish as "Divertidas de las vacaciones y el cambio," this was the first YTP to ever exist, predating "I'D SAY HE'S HOT ON OUR TAIL" by 2,393 years. It featured broken-off chips of Mayan hieroglyphics put together like a puzzle, but with the wrong pieces. The sources used were broken-off bits of religious stories and war epics mixed to make something about a man eating a dog, then yelling at a fish.

In the 7th century BC, Yaak Talac Puu built a tunnel underground. At the end of it, he placed a holy temple. He founded the religion of Poopism, stating that every 2,600 to 9,000 years, Mama Luigi would select the next chosen one to save the world from alien trolls and create the greatest poop of the millennium to save us. Other beliefs of Poopism were that dinner is delicious and that life is merely a huge, well-planned YouTube Poop.

King Harkinian was born to Clythia and Leonard Harkinian on January 2, 1955. The oldest of their eight children, he didn't learn to walk until he was 5, and couldn't speak until he was four. After that, his teachers were bribed into moving him from nursery school all the way to third grade. However, his father was exiled for bribing teachers to allow an "imbecilic eggface" to reach the third grade. From age 8 until 15, King Harkinian lived with his mother, the Queen of Hyrule.

In 1963, when he was eight years old, King Harkinian bought a goblet at Cups N' Goblets, a store near Hyrule City. In his childhood, the King was fed a lot of unhealthy breakfast, which disgusted him, and even worse lunch &mdash;he was literally fed crap for that meal until he was 19. He ended up being overfed dinner, too, but his dinners were big and fantastic, so he went to the side of the dinner-lovers.

King Harkinian's mother died of a heart attack in 1970. Forced to live on their own, John raised his siblings and did some self-discipline, such as not eating lunch ever again and telling people to attack him. By the age of 21, he was a ready king. As he became King, he married Telda Schrob, the daughter of Impa Schrob. He then began to issue laws saying that anyone who denied their children the right to eat dinner would be imprisoned. He also issued the PINGAS Act, or the Peaces Is Not Greatly Angering Sirs Act, meaning that a special Parliament prevented unreasonable war declarations.

At age 31, Telda Schrob announced that she had a child, who was named Zelda, after her mother's planned name. King Harkinian wasn't exactly a doting father; he'd often throw Triforces of Courage and attacked her whenever she expressed her freedom of speech. This was around the time King Harkinian was becoming a drunkard, so Telda hired a babysitter, her mother Impa, to aid her. She was a much more doting mother. In 1991, King Harkinian hired Link to attack Ganon, who got his revenge two years later by capturing the King and Link. Zelda defeated him, however, and the King's way of thinking changed forever. Soon after, he ran for president of the United States, but lost to Bill Clinton, probably because of the King's lack of experience and his plans to move the capital to Flagstaff, Arizona, which is much like his home city. Defeated, he went to Hyrule and started KingPictures Co., the predecessor to modern YouTube Poop. In 2005, YouTube bought KingPictures Co., meaning he began to appear in YouTube Poop.

Movieshu made the movie Later Still in 2002, and it was released that same year. King Hiakinarn, King Harkinian's character in the movie, was adventurous and wanted to sail the world, but was annoyed by Billys May, so he would be stopped over and over. Manifesting itself into its own existence, King Hiakinarn wanted to sail and visit every place, even your bathroom. This scared everyone, and then the Simpsons family finally killed him.

Diary of a Wimpy King, the only book written by Gwonam, was released in 2007. It was based on King Harkinian's real diary entries from 1989 to 1994, which the King resented. The book received mixed reviews: Ushrom, Mario, and I.M. Meen liked it, saying it was truly funny and heartfelt; Weegee found it boring since it wasn't violent enough for his tastes; Zelda felt there were too many story gaps; and Morshu simply said it was gay.

In 2015, in an act of treason, Fari attacked King Harkinian with a knife. He died, and haunted Hyrule Castle for about 580 years until he got bored and decided to inhabit the body of Jake the Dog. When Jake died too, he went to reinhabit his old body, which was preserved, but he died in 2808. The ghost haunted Coney Island until it was destroyed in 3011.

Born in 3891, Oiram Oiram was raised in the fields outside Nylkoorb, Newer York after the collapse of civilization in 3667. Oiram was raised to be evil, and became the world's first anti-plumber (one who wrecks the sewers). He then took a portal to Ihsoy's Peninsula, where he was kidnapped by Kemak the Apook Draziw. He then killed Kemak and returned home to Future Earth. He then became an anti-plumber again, but in 3969 froze himself for about 1900 years.

In 5887, Oiram unfroze and acquired a friend, Enilasor. Gnok Yeknod then took her over to Future Europe, and Oiram had to save her. Later, Gnok Yeknod, Jr. captured Oiram, but Oiram escaped and killed Gnok Yeknod, Jr. and Gnok Yeknod, Sr. He then hired his brother Igiul to help him in his evil plumbing business, and then became a construction worker. Around 6670, Oiram founded Picnic Floda, a company specializing in gay, futuristic picnics, in Gannonan. The company also sent clones of people back into the past to do their dirty work.

Igiul was eventually defeated by Weegee in the year 7000, but a clone of him called Oiram Igiul was created to preserve his legacy. In the year 7891, Oiram created Knil to go back and murder King Harkinian in 2015 for the hell of it. Knil, an evil clone of Link, ended up getting an error, causing his kooky color scheme. Finding out that Malleo would start the nuclear war, Knil committed suicide in 7918. Oiram was finally killed by Hcaep in 9002.